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Anthony Brenner
Alive and Kicking in the
Arena Football
League
Following a Disappointing Fall From Grace,
Anthony Brenner has Found Peace & Success
By
Ron Cherubini
�2004 Bonesville.net
Anthony Brenner (Photo: Eric Lars
Bakke for Colorado Crush)
It�s taken several years for
former East Carolina kicker Anthony Brenner to come to terms with
perhaps the most tumultuous stretch of his life, a roller-coaster
chapter in his personal evolution that would reach a zenith in January
of 1992 before starting a numbing downward ride. In that time period, he went from a
nondescript kicking prospect at ECU to a national star on the rise to a
missing person of sorts, leaving many of the fans who saw ECU ride a
bullet to a top-10 national ranking wondering truly, �Whatever happened
to Anthony Brenner?�
In the past year, given a
flood of national press coverage, which included appearances on ESPN and
NBC television, ECU fans caught a glimpse of where Brenner is today.
With he and wife, Jennifer, struggling to find a cure for a
yet-to-be-diagnosed
neurological disorder affecting their
daughter, Bailey (3), the national media locked on to a young couple who
refused to take the �hand� life had dealt them and relentlessly � to
their own financial demise � pursued a cure for their child. On the way,
the story took a life of its own as Brenner came out of retirement to
kick footballs for the Colorado Crush of the Arena Football League, not
because he missed the game � though he did � but because he needed to
find a cure and the financial support professional football provided
would be a means to end.
Brenner had, in essence,
re-emerged for ECU fans, who took a keen interest in their former
kicker�s desperate situation. The nation responded, too, contributing to
a fund to help Bailey, whom this writer is happy to report, is doing
quite well these days.
Still, for ECU fans, the
question remains, �Whatever happened to Anthony Brenner?�
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Brenner
kicks off (Colorado Crush) |
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Having exorcised, to an
extent, the demons that surrounded Brenner�s rapid exit from the
collegiate football scene, the former Pirate kicker had long wished to
somehow convey what was going on in his life during that time. He had
carried a tremendous amount of shame about letting down his teammates,
coaches, and fans � even more himself. Yet, he found it impossible
to even be in Greenville after he departed or even think about it for
some time.
�This is probably� the first
interview I�ve ever done where I�ve really got in depth with what really
happened and why I left East Carolina and didn�t continue my career,�
Brenner said from his home in Denver.
A little background is
necessary to fully understand Brenner�s situation.
At two years old, Brenner�s
father and mother divorced, prompting the young mother to move home with
her parents. Her father, affectionately called Daddy Beau by his family,
had purchased 17 acres of land in High Point, NC, where most of the
extended family � three generations of furniture builders � built homes
and settled. It was here that Brenner grew up and it was Daddy Beau who
was the linchpin male figure in upbringing.
�(My grandfather) was a
very influential part of my life,� Brenner recalled. �He acted as my
dad, really. I had a bond with him that none of the other 16 grandkids
had with him. I guess my family knew all along that he was a manic
depressive, but I guess because they knew how I felt about him, they
never divulged this to me.�
So it was in February of
1990, as Brenner returned to High Point following a ski trip with
friends, that he arrived at the family home to find a host of sheriff�s
cars and an ambulance in front of the house.
�In February of 1990, he
took his life,� Brenner said. �My pastor came out of the house and told
me that my grandpa had shot himself. I really did not know how to handle
it.�
Though he didn�t know it at
the time, something had broken inside of him. Brenner found a
strength inside, using his grandfather�s death as a striking stone to
ignite an internal desire to exceed all expectations of himself as a
football player in the 1990-91 seasons.
�I dedicated my following
season to my grandpa - the �91 season,� Brenner said. �I wore a piece of
paper on my kicking shoe that said, �Here�s to you, Daddy Beau.� I
dedicated my season to him and it probably was the real reason for my
success. I wanted to somehow make him happy. You know, he never got the
opportunity to see me play college football and that was very difficult
for me.�
As history bore out, the
1991 season was a milestone in the ECU football history. The Pirates
finished No. 9 in the final season rankings and capped the season with a
rousing come-from-behind Peach Bowl victory over North Carolina State.
In the wake of that victory, Brenner had become a known commodity in the
collegiate football ranks, finishing the season as the nation�s fifth
best kicker. By the time the 1992 season previews would hit the
newsstands, the rising junior would be listed as a pre-season
All-America. Also by that time, Brenner was done with football and would
never don a Pirates uniform again.
Post-Victory
Depression
While it may be difficult to
understand for many fans, instead of using the victory and a successful
memorial to his grandfather to boost himself up, Brenner crashed hard
after the season.
�After the Peach Bowl was
over, it was really over for me,� he said. �The previous 11 months, I
had dedicated to Daddy Beau. At the culmination of the Peach Bowl, I
felt it was really over. I felt that I had nowhere to go but into the
cellar. Things started to lose meaning to me. I stopped going to class.
I started to drink a lot more alcohol than most college students do. I
was staying out all night, carousing. I wasn�t putting forth the effort
in class or in training. I put myself in such a hole that I could not
dig out academically.
�I got kicked out of school
which has been really difficult to say for me for a long time. I am at
peace with it now, so I can say it, but it still doesn�t feel good. They
kicked me out of school and I left Greenville.�
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Anthony Brenner
approaches
a kick. (Photo: Colorado Crush) |
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Fighting his own depression,
Brenner was determined to make a run at regaining his eligibility. He
packed his bags and moved to Florida with a close friend, a soccer
player who had also been kicked out of school for academic reasons.
�I came back the next spring
and got reinstated in school� we both did,� Brenner said. �Though I did
well academically, I could not get my grades up enough to get eligible
again.�
The following summer � in
1993 � Brenner departed Greenville for good. He was still down and feeling
like it was only getting worse.
�I left Greenville and moved
home with my parents,� he said. �I knew there were a lot of people
disappointed in me because of the potential I wasted. Being nationally
recognized as a sophomore was a big deal, which I didn�t understand at
that time. I was the oldest of six kids and all I can remember my
parents preaching was to set a good example for them and be a good
person. So when I flunked out of school, it added to my depression
because I had failed my family. It took me awhile to get over that. I
remember making (the siblings) vow to me that they would not make the
same mistakes I did. And, they haven�t, which makes me feel better.�
Still, though resolved with his personal
history, Brenner recognizes with pain that his depression could have
probably been dealt with before all had been lost at ECU.
�It took me until five or
six years ago to come to peace about what I did to myself in college,�
he said. �Allowing my grandfather�s death to sink my dreams to play
professional football� letting it get to me probably more than it ever
should have� that bothers me. I never sought help for this, which I
should have done. The only support I had were family and friends and
that probably should have gotten me through it, but I hid my problems so
no one knew till my grades came out. I also felt like I had let down
everyone. When I disappeared, there was no telling what the people of
Greenville thought of me. I resented myself for not giving support back
to the school and fans that they gave me.�
Over the years, Brenner has
come to understand that, though there may have been disappointment at the
time, his name largely is associated positively with the 1991 season, and
by that virtue, his name generally brings a smile and happy reflection
on a truly good time at ECU.
Seemingly, a Kicker out of Nowhere
He was a state
caliber soccer player at High Point Central High School, but
Brenner was a virtual unknown as a kicker. Though his potential was clearly visible
to those who looked, he was somewhat hidden. He was recruited by Florida
State and North Carolina while being pursued by North Carolina
State.
Brenner was looking at schools to satisfy another passion.
�Throughout my junior and senior
years I was getting letters from FSU and UNC and I was being heavily
recruited by North Carolina State,� Brenner said. �I didn�t get much
correspondence from ECU, but I wanted to major in art and design. I
became aware of their design program, so I looked into ECU. My dad (Bob,
who played tight end at Wake Forest) found out that the coach was Bill
Lewis who had been the defensive backs coach at Wake Forest when my dad
played there in the late �60s. My dad made a phone call and ECU brought
me in on a walk-on situation. They already had a kicker on scholarship �
Robb Imperato � and they didn�t have any money for another kicker. It
didn�t matter to me. I chose East Carolina since it was in state, my dad
knew Coach Lewis and they had an art program.�
A memorable freebie if ever there
was at ECU.
�I competed with Robb my true
freshman year for PATs and field goals,� he said. �I won the field goal
and PAT job for the last six games of the season. I remember one of the
most memorable games for me my freshman year was the game against Miami.
It was on my birthday and I kicked a field goal against them.
�I remember being extremely
intimidated at the time. Carlos Huerta was their kicker. In high school,
I was used to playing in front of 5,000 people, but to be in the Orange
Bowl, playing the No. 1 team in the country in front of 60,000 people
was really, really scary for me. It is one of the few times that I can
remember being terrified on the field. I was this little guy � I barely
weighed 150 pounds � who didn�t look quite right in my uniform. I missed
my first attempt, but hit the second one. That was a big moment for me.�
During the off-season after his
freshman season, Coach Lewis opted to red shirt Brenner to allow
Imperato to kick his senior season and preserve the maximum eligibility for the team�s emerging young kicker.
�My sophomore year I red shirted
because Robb was a senior and he was a fifth year guy and they wanted me
for three years,� he said. �I thought it was a great decision on both
their behalf and my behalf because it gave me an opportunity to get
bigger and be a better kicker. I traveled to all games for the
experience, but didn�t play. Really, it gave me an opportunity to get
better. I really didn�t feel like I was that good of a kicker out of
high school, though I did feel I had a big upside. That year gave me the
opportunity to get bigger and better.�
Though he chose ECU in part for its
Art program, Brenner soon learned that on the collegiate level, there is
little time for more than one passion, so he had to make a tough
decision.
�I stopped with my art schooling, if
you will, after my sophomore year, because I was working on art projects
and oftentimes found myself in the art room working overnight. I would
be there until classes showed up the next day,� Brenner said. �Being an
athlete and committed to art didn�t work out for me because I couldn�t
give full effort to both. At the time, being a young athlete, I just
decided to make football the thing. I still am involved in art and have
done pieces over the years, some of which are hanging in my home. It
gives me solace and time alone to relax. It is rewarding when you
complete an art work.�
Clearly focused on football, Brenner
knew he was much improved heading into his red shirt sophomore season.
But, he and his teammates had no real clue about what would unfold
ahead.
�I already knew that we had great
players and had potential to be a great team,� Brenner said of the build
up to the 1990-91season. But I really do not believe that anyone in the
organization had any idea of how it was actually going to take place. We
knew we had some pre-season All-American guys, but we had no idea that
we would finish in the top 10 and win a major bowl game.
�Personally, I felt like my
performance as a kicker before I ever got into any games that season had
improved. I had really taken myself to a new level. I never really had
the opportunity to refine what I was doing (until that red shirt
season).�
As a kicker, Brenner found out right
away that his game had elevated.
�One of the highest and lowest
points of my career was in that very first game of the season against
Illinois,� Brenner recalled of a dramatic 38-31 loss. �I kicked an
onside kick late in the game that we recovered and then got an excessive
celebration penalty (aka the infamous Miami Rule). It was the only loss
of the year, but in my first field goal attempt of the year, I made a 51-yarder. I had never even attempted anything like that and to do it on
national TV was incredible. My family watched it. Of course, it was
disappointing to lose at the end like that. There�s no telling what our
ranking would have been had we won that game.�
Of course, that 51-yarder and the
onsides kick were just the beginning for Brenner that season.
�I remember another high point for
me personally was the Syracuse game,� he recalled. �I kicked another
50-yarder and had probably my best kicking game of the year. Then there
was the game against Pitt at home, which was one of the best wins I have
ever been a part of. I am sure everyone remembers that game.
�The goal posts came down, it was
great. Believe it or not, I had both of my shoes ripped off my feet and
my helmet stolen after that game. Would you believe I found my helmet a
year and a half later at a fraternity house? I asked them where they got
the helmet and of course nobody knew. It was kind of funny to see it
after (the season).�
Ironically, for Brenner, his final game as a
Pirate, thought it was a big one on a big stage, was a bit anticlimactic from a kicking perspective.
�The Peach Bowl was bittersweet for
me because even though we won, it was my worst performance I ever had in
college,� he said. �I think it was a lot due to being part of a big
game. I had 30 family members at the game and I think I let my nerves
get to me because I was still a kid. It was difficult. I grew from it
and it made me stronger mentally and after the game, to hold the trophy
was so special. It made it easy to forget my personal performance. I
really didn�t have that many lows though, which was impossible with the
streak we were having as a team.�
In the wake of the Peach Bowl,
Brenner was named first team All-South kicker, which was a key honor as
ECU was an Independent at the time. Several publications listed Brenner
as a pre-season All-America for the following season.
�I finished in the top five for
kicking,� Brenner recalled. �I remember the entire year, Jason Elam and
I were neck and neck. It is kind of neat to look back knowing I was
right there with him. He was a senior and I was a red shirt sophomore.�
The Long Climb Out
Having given up a dream of
his � to be a professional football player � Brenner�s fall from grace
also marked the beginning of what would be a tough climb out of the
grips of depression. Along the climb, Brenner would find a helping hand
that has meant the difference in his life.
�You know, when my wife and I
initially met, we met in the year and a half after I had left
Greenville,� Brenner said. �I was doing odd jobs at home and doing
nothing really with my life. Really, I should say I was mooching off of
my parents, taking advantage of them.
�I think probably, the most positive
turnaround that happened to me was meeting my wife, Jennifer. From the
moment I met her, she made me want to be a better person and to live up
to my potential and be what I could be. It was obvious to me that I had
to grab a hold and keep her in my life. We started dating in 1994 and
married in 1998. There is nothing more important in my life than my
family. I know that a lot of people say that, but I am extremely close
with my siblings and my family and so is my wife. There are no lengths
that I wouldn�t go to for my immediate family.�
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Jennifer &
Anthony Brenner (Submitted) |
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Patient, loving, and caring,
Brenner�s wife was a beacon for him as he fought to reconcile himself
with his grandfather�s suicide and his subsequent failures.
�I feel like I am a good husband and
father and once again living out a dream of football, and it is because
of Jennifer. I truly believe that. I say this all the time to my best
friend in Raleigh, �There�s no telling what would have happened to me if
I had not met my wife.� I recognize how extremely depressed I was. For
five years after my grandpa died, I was having nightmares. Meeting her
helped me get to that point where I found peace and learned life was
very important to me.�
Breaking free of the depression has
almost freed him of his negative memories in Greenville� almost. �I guess
you always wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in school,�
he said. �My friend always says I would be in the NFL. But, then I
think, if I had (never been kicked out) I would not be married with two
beautiful children. I usually hate when people say that there is a
reason for everything, but maybe it does sometimes apply.�
A Dream Revived
With newfound happiness on
the horizon, Brenner was able to right his personal ship and in the fall
of 1994, he found himself back on a path he thought he had strayed too
far off to ever return.
�I can�t even remember how it
happened exactly, but somebody contacted me for a tryout for a CFL team
in Greenville, SC,� Brenner recalled. �I went to Greenville and there
were about 25 or 30 kickers there trying out in front of a bunch of CFL
scouts.�
One of those scouts was Jim Pop, an
assistant coach for the Baltimore Stallions of the Canadian Football
League during the league�s venture into the lower 48.
�Jim Pop brought me � I was the only
one of the group � to Baltimore to kick for the head coach (Don
Matthews) and the owner (Jim Speros). That was neat. They signed me to
play for the Baltimore team. A few months later, the team disbanded and
again I did not have a job like I thought I would. So, Jim Pop, who was
very good friends with an AFL coach in Charlotte (head coach Doug Kay),
told me that they were holding a tryout in Spartanburg, SC. So, I went
and kicked and they signed me for the 1995 season for the Charlotte
Rage.�
Brenner would go on to play for
Charlotte in 1995 and 1996. It was unlike the game he was
used to.
�You know, it certainly is a lot
different now than it was then,� he said in reference to how far the
league has come since he played in Charlotte. �I remember that first
season was almost like playing in the Miami game when I was a freshman
at ECU. I knew I could compete, but going from big uprights and then to
9-foot (wide) uprights and playing inside, kicking into nets was so new
and intimidating. I did not have a good first year kicking there but
Coach Kay and I had struck up a good relationship and he saw my
potential. It might have been because in my first game I got hit and
flew over the boards and separated my shoulder and then came back to
kick the game-winning field goal. Ironically, that game-winner was
against a team that my current head coach was the coach for back then.
�Again, it was a really strange
first game of my professional career. It was on TV and I got a
game-winner opportunity. It did take me a long time to get used to the
style of kicking. Still, Charlotte signed me the next year because they
saw good potential. I had an average year that second year. Typically in
this league, for guys who get to stick, it takes until the second or
third year to get used to the style of the game.�
During their first stints in the Arena
Football League, players generally sign a one-year contract and then
fend for themselves each off-season. For Brenner, it meant that there
were a couple of other teams to consider.
�I had two or three teams interested
in me,� he recalled. �I got a phone call from Danny White with the
Arizona Rattlers. He asked me to come out and play for them. All I knew
was that they were one of the best organizations in the league so I went
and I went knowing I would have to compete for a job. After a week with
competing for the job, they released the other guy. Of course, don�t you
know that that guy then signed with Cleveland in the NFL and has been
bouncing around the league ever since, which has happened to me before.�
Though the guy he beat may have
ended up as a journeyman in the NFL, Brenner went on that season to have
perhaps his greatest year to date as a professional.
�That was the best year as an
athlete in my entire life,� Brenner recalled. �I had been a state
champion in soccer in high school and then there was the Peach Bowl, but
winning the 1997 AFL championship was the biggest. I led the league in
all three kicking categories. I was runner up for kicker of the year to
a good friend of mine from High Point, Steve Vidatek (played at NCSU).
Along the way, I developed wonderful relationships, including a friend
who was in my wedding the following year. I can�t say one negative thing
about my time in Phoenix except that my wife was not with me and my
parents never got to see me play there. But it was a great experience.�
A rising star once again, Brenner
would again drop off the football map. But this time, it was for all of
the right reasons without any negatives attached.
�I set a goal before that season,�
he said. �I had got engaged in June of that year and having a family,
being a good husband and father, has been the most important goal to me
since I was a little boy. So once I decided to start a family, I knew it
was going to be the main focus in my life. I decided the best thing to
do was to make the 1997 season my most productive ever. I set a goal to
win the championship and lead the league in kicking and I did that. This
left me an opportunity to leave the game on top and start my family. I
was fine with it and though I know Danny and my teammates were
disappointed (from a player personnel standpoint), they all understood
and respected my decision.�
Brenner didn�t really look back
until he was called by White a year-and-a-half later and asked to be the
rescue kicker for a three-week stint while the Rattlers kicker healed up
from an injury.
�I went back and kicked for three
games in 1999 until their kicker got healthy again. And, that was the
last game I played until this past year.�
Brenner admits that after his first
two years away from the game without a thought about it, it started to
creep back into his mind.
�For about two years after I
stopped, I didn�t even think about football,� he said. �Really� I was at
ease with the decision. Then I started having recurring dreams of
kicking in college and in the AFL and training kickers. I started to
miss it so I asked Jennifer if she thought I should go back and play
again. But, I never actively made the effort.�
After leaving the game in 1999,
Brenner and his family moved to Winter Park, FL, where Jennifer was a
teacher and he became involved in the furniture business. He quickly rose to the
level of national sales rep for a company, but he was not fulfilled.
�We moved to Florida in January of
1999 and I was in furniture sales at the time and selling to hotels and
resorts,� he recalled. �My family is three generations deep in the
furniture business and I was in sales for 3 � years. But, I was very
unhappy traveling and being in a coat and tie. It wasn�t me� I wasn�t
able to be myself.
�So I got away from it and started
coaching and training soccer players and teams and football kickers in
Winter Park. I was coaching a girls club team for a number of years and
training young players in the area and was actually doing quite well
with what I was doing financially and really enjoyed what I was doing.
My wife was teaching and we were happy. I was surrounded by great people,
families and players.�
Brenner admitted that working with
prep kickers from around the country went a long way in filling any
void that may have been created when he left football. But a couple of
events, one major and one minor, changed all of that.
In June of 2001, Brenner�s daughter
Bailey was born. It was soon discovered that something was not right as
the child was suffering from daily seizures. Her vision going, her
hearing gone, and her development nearly stopped cold. When doctors
failed to uncover what was going on in little Bailey, the Brenners set
out on a relentless quest to do whatever they could to help their
daughter. Part of that quest would bring Brenner back to football.
Beautiful Bailey Brenner (Photo:
Submitted)
�Last July, about a year ago, I was
training three boys who were kicking,� Brenner said. �One will be
kicking for Louisville this year against the Pirates. One will be a
freshman at UNC, and the other is at Vanderbilt. These boys are all very
competitive with each other and they started trying to entice me into
kicking with them last summer. I gave in one day and honestly, I had a
day when I was kicking about as good as ever in my life. I went home and
told my wife how well I was kicking.�
Brenner knew that in the years since
he left the AFL, things had changed within the league. The league was a
far cry from the $250-a-week gig he had when he first started. The NFL
Players Association now represents the players, there are 401-k plans,
full benefits and the salaries are up by more than 1000 percent with the
NBC television contract. And the medical benefits were there.
�Things had really changed in the
league and I saw an opportunity to relieve pressure and stress and
strain tied to all of the medical bills,� Brenner said. �We were in a
situation where we were lacking resources for good health insurance. It
seemed like a perfect fit on paper. So, I went out and made a highlight
tape and it sent it to (two) teams and they both called me back and both
remembered me from before.�
As fate would have it, the special
teams coach for Colorado was a coach that Brenner had played for in
Charlotte.
�They flew me to Denver in the third
week of August last year,� Brenner said. �I had a tryout in front of
(head coach) Mike Dailey and John Elway (the owner). I kicked 11 field
goals and 10 kickoffs. I made all of the field goals until the last one
which was a 55-yarder that I missed. I asked if I could kick another and
(Elway) said that it �wouldn�t be necessary.�
�I thought, �Man, that�s it? I miss
one kick and that�s it?� Then Elway says, �Welcome to the Colorado
Crush.� It was such an incredible feeling because I had not played in so
long. Also, knowing that I had an opportunity to play for one of the
best players in the history of the NFL (in Elway) in a state that my
wife and I had always wanted to live in� it was too good to be true.�
Brenner officially signed in October
and left Florida with only one regret.
�Two weeks later, I was leaving
Winter Park which was emotional for me,� he said. �Not only was I
leaving behind 24 teenage girls with whom I had spent so much time and
knowing we had an opportunity to win a state title, I knew I was leaving
at the most important time for those kids. Colorado even allowed me to
come to camp late.�
For the record, Brenner�s team won
the district, region, conference, and lost in double overtime in penalty
kicks to the No. 1 team in nation in the semifinals. During the tournament,
Brenner was still there, via phone, to support his girls.
The move to Colorado has been a good
one in every way possible.
�Colorado is better than I ever
thought and it is just going to get better as we settle in and meet more
friends,� he said.
Personally, the return to football
to help offset the medical bills for Bailey�s treatment was the best
thing they could have hoped for Bailey. The local press got wind of the
story� followed by the national press. A trust was set up for Bailey and
people from all of the country poured out their support to the Brenners
after hearing their story. Today, Bailey has been seizure free for two
years, her vision is back, her hearing is back and her development is
progressing.
Professionally, things are equally
on good footing.
�This past season, personally, I had
my first slump for two games in the middle of the year,� he said.
�Things ended up very well and we had an opportunity to go up and win (the
AFL semis) game. I hit a late field goal and then had an opportunity to
get an onside kick. It was a tough loss, but I am at peace with it
because it was my best game. Ironically, it was against my old team, the
Rattlers. A majority of my teammates from 1997 are still there, so it
was bittersweet. We are definitely one of the teams for next year.�
Though on a two-year contract,
Brenner said that his performance this past season has opened the door
to a renegotiation of his contract. And yes, lest anyone be wondering,
he has often thought of the NFL.
�Given a lot of thought to the NFL
and a lot of people remind me that the NFL is still there,� he said. �It
is the dumbest question I get, �Do you want to kick in the NFL?� Of
course I want to kick in the NFL. But, my age may be the one thing that
is holding the opportunity back. Unfortunately, NFL Player Personnel and
coaches want younger guys and guys with at least some NFL experience
under their belts.�
Reflections on Greenville
Though Brenner has not been
back to Greenville since a 1996 visit, he follows his Pirates closely.
�I do keep up with them on a weekly
basis to see how they are doing,� Brenner said. �I like to keep up and
see how they are doing, but as far as coming back to Greenville, I have
not been to there since 1996.�
Despite the distance, Brenner says
he still feels like he is a part of the East Carolina fabric.
�Absolutely, I feel connected,�
Brenner said. �I probably read too much into (the situation) back then.
Whenever I would run into fans, I would feel very inadequate and
inferior� as if they were looking at me strange� it was uncomfortable for
me. That made it difficult to go back there.�
Still, he cannot completely void his
days at ECU and wouldn�t want to. He was a big part of the
biggest football year in the Pirates� program and of that he is proud
and for that he is thankful. He has come to peace with it and now looks
back and feels good about where he is.
�I often look in retrospect on how
different my life could have been if I would have handled things
differently in college,� he said. �Who knows what would have been. But
life is pretty good now. I am fine with it now. I wouldn�t have what I
have, so in one way, it was worth (the pain and humiliation).�
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